Message from the Director

A trusted swim coach, lifeguard, and recreation program coordinator is arrested and jailed, suspected of sexually abusing young boys in West Allis for more than 30 years. As a community, we ask ourselves "how could we have missed it?" and "why did it take so long for the children to tell?"

While the criminal prosecution of the case unfolds, this is the time to support the survivors and educate ourselves about preventing child sexual abuse.

How did the abuse go undetected? One of the most challenging aspects of child sexual abuse is that the adults we trust to protect children can't always be trusted. Coaches, teachers, and other family members are authority figures that parents and children feel they can trust. Yet, most child sexual abusers are from this group. Parents instinctively keep their children from people who are outwardly "creepy." Abusers know this, and are outwardly respectable, even while "grooming" children with affection and attention that makes children susceptible to abuse.

Why didn't the children tell? These days, children are taught about good and bad touching, and to keep themselves safe from sexual abuse. But we can't ask children to do the adult's job of preventing sexual abuse. In the second grade, my kids had a hard time asking the teacher for a replacement list of spelling words. Sex is a much harder topic than spelling. Imagine how hard it is for kids to say "no" to the coach, especially since abuse often starts with just one touch -- so quick that a child isn't really sure if it happened or not.

A national child abuse prevention model, "Darkness to Light," helps communities take the lead in preventing child sexual abuse. Preventing child sexual abuse starts with grown-ups taking ownership for prevention. It is important for kids to learn the difference between good and bad touch, but it isn't O.K. to make kids responsible for keeping themselves safe from predators. Grown-ups are responsible for making sure that kids use car seats, wear seat belts and have a hand to hold when they cross busy streets. Preventing child sexual abuse is just as much a grown-up responsibility.

Every adult can prevent child sexual abuse by:

• Learning the facts about sexual abuse.
• Minimizing opportunity. It is hard for abusers to get one-on-one access to a child if one-adult, one-child situations are limited.
• Talk about it. Make sure your own kids know they can bring you their concerns. Ask your children's school, rec programs, and sports teams how they will keep your child safe from sexual abuse. The signs of sexual abuse aren't always obvious -- being alert and involved is a powerful path to prevention.
• Visit the Darkness to Light website, www.darkness2light.org, and learn the seven steps to preventing child sexual abuse. Sexual abuse is an agonizing and traumatic experience for victims. Get started on prevention today - so there are no new stories about 30 years of undetected abuse.
  
  

Susan Conwell