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In cases where children may not be safe with their family of origin, Child Protective Services (CPS) looks to foster and adoptive families to provide appropriate temporary and permanent homes for children who cannot live with their parents (the Division of Milwaukee Child Protective Services in Milwaukee County). In order for this to occur, the CPS worker must go to Children’s Court to get a court order called a CHIPS (Children in Need of Protection or Services) order for the child to be placed in a foster home. These cases are transferred to and monitored by ongoing case managers (OCM) as long as a court order is in place. The OCM ensures the family receives the services it needs to work toward reunification or some other form of permanence for the child. The OCM is responsible for family assessment and permanency planning, as well as for providing services identified by the court to assist the child and family. Foster and adoptive families must be complete training and licensing requirements.
For more information about foster care and licensing:
How do you explain foster care to a child who has not experienced it and does not know other kids who are in foster care? How do you tell them about abuse, neglect, and being removed from their parents’ care without scaring them? Kids sure do “say the darndest things,” and they are not afraid to ask difficult questions. It is important to be honest and straightforward. Here is a sample of questions that kids often ask about foster care:
It may be hard for kids to understand what exactly foster care means. Foster care is not a place where all kids in foster care go, but a child in foster care lives with a family, in a home, just like other children. The only difference is that a child in foster care is not living with his or her parents because it is not safe.
If it is safe, and if a child’s parents are available, a child will get to visit his or her parents. Often the visits are supervised just to make sure that the kids are safe. As time goes on, a child may get to visit for longer periods of time with his or her parents, and may get to go back home for good.
If a child asks about spanking, be careful to make a clear distinction between spanking and abuse. Though many people feel that spanking is an inappropriate form of punishment, many parents do spank their children when other forms of punishment, like time-outs, are not working. Clearly explain to children that the kind of hitting and abuse that may send a child into foster care is very, very serious.
Kids in foster care are just like other kids, but they do not live with their parents. Their foster parents do just about everything that a parent would do, like picking up the child from school, taking the child to a sports practice or an extracurricular activity, and spending time with the child on the weekends. The foster family’s home is the child’s home, too, so the child sleeps there and spends the weekends there–just like other kids do at their homes.
A kid in foster care may celebrate the holidays with family members if possible, but he or she may also celebrate the holidays with his or her foster family. Foster families, like other families, will include their foster children in their family activities. If a kid in foster care is used to celebrating the holidays differently, or even celebrating different holidays than his or her foster family, the foster family can work with the child to honor those traditions. A kid in foster care has a new foster family, but that does not mean that his or her past interests and traditions no longer matter.
This depends on the safety of the situation. If a child is very unsafe at home and must be removed, the move will probably happen very quickly, and the child will not be able to take much, if anything, from home. This is why children sometimes enter foster care with only the clothes on their backs. If the home is safe enough, it may be determined that a child can gather more of his or her things. Maybe someone else can even bring some of the child’s personal belongings to him or her after the child has entered foster care. The most important thing is safety, and sometimes that means that a child’s things get left behind.
If a child in foster care has a disability, it is important to remember three things:
If kids are in foster care until age 18, they “age out” of foster care. This means that they were not “reunified” with their parents, and they were not legally adopted. Maybe a foster family will still stay in contact with them and help them find a place to live, work, or go on to college. Maybe a mentor or friend will help them learn to live independently. Sometimes, kids who age out of foster care will find their parents, from whom they were separated, and live with them again. There are many, many options and paths that kids may take. Before kids turn 18 and age out of foster care, they have access to many resources and tools to help them prepare for living on their own.
One of the most important things that kids can do is understand that some kids are not able to live with their parents, and that being in foster care is typically a result of something out of a kid’s control. There are so many different kinds of families, and it is important to not judge others because their family may seem different than yours. Whether grandparents raise their grandchildren, aunts or uncles raise their nieces and nephews, older siblings raise their younger siblings, adoptive parents raise their adopted children, or foster parents raise their foster children, these are all families. What is most important is that kids are safe and well taken care of. Just understanding that some kids may have experienced difficult things in their lives and choosing not to judge them by those situations can be so helpful to a child in foster care. They need friends to stick by them, just like any other child.
Happy Adoption Day! by John McCutcheon
Over the Moon: An Adoption Tale by Karen Katz
The Red Blanket by Eliza Thomas
Little Miss Spider by David Kirk
The Star: A Story to Help Young Children Understand Foster Care by Cynthia Miller Lovell
Maybe Days- A Book for Children in Foster Care by Jennifer Wilgocki and Marcia Kahn
Kids Need to be Safe: A Book for Children in Foster Care by Julie NelsonTell Me Again
About the Night I Was Born by Jamie Lee Curtis
Is There Really a Human Race by Jamie Lee Curtis
Where Do Balloons Go? by Jamie Lee Curtis
I’m Gonna Like Me by Jamie Lee Curtis
I Wished for You: an Adoption Story by Marianne Richmond
God Found Us You by Lisa Tawn Bergren and Laura J. Bryant
A Mother for Choco by Keiko Kasza
A Blessing from Above by Patti Henderson
My Family, My Journey: A Baby Book for Adoptive Families by Zoe Francesca and Susie Ghahremani
Hopper the Loney Frog: An Adoption Story for Children by Kimberly Lee
The Day We Met You by Phoebe Koehler
Murphy’s Three Homes: A Story for Children in Foster Care by Jan Levinson GilmanAll Kinds of Families by Norma Simon
An Elephant in the Living Room: A Children’s Book by Jill M. Hastings
Families Change: A Book for Children Experiencing Termination of Parental Rights by Julie Nelson and Mary Gallagher
Finding the Right Spot: When Kids Can’t Live with Their Parents by Janice Levy
Let’s Talk About Living with a Grandparent by Susan Kent
Mama Bear Baby Bear by Linda Silvas
Robert Lives with his Grandparents by Martha Whitmore Hickman
The Family Book by Todd Parr
We Belong Together: A Book about Adoption and Families by Todd Parr
Who’s in a Family? by Robert Skutch
Did My First Mother Love Me?: A Story for an Adopted Child by Kathryn Ann Miller
Anna Casey’s Place in the World by Adrian Fogelin
Dicey’s Song by Cynthia Voigt
Double Dip Feelings: Stories to help children understand emotions by Barbara S.
FYI Binder: The Tool for Youth Involvement by compiled by and available from FosterClub.com
Holding Up the Earth by Dianne E.
I Miss My Foster Parents by Stefon Herbert
Lost in the System by Charlotte Lopez with Susan Dworkin.
My Foster Family: A Story for Children Entering Foster Care by Jennifer Levine
The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson.
Zachary’s New Home: A Story for Foster and Adopted Children by Geraldine Molettiere Blomquist, Paul B. Blomquist, Margo Lemieux
Over the Moon: An Adoption Tale by Patrice Barton and Karen Henry Clark
Rosie’s Family: An Adoption Story by Lori Rosove
Happy Adoption Day! by Trevory Royle, Julie Paschkis and John McCutcheon
Sweet Moon Baby: An Adoption Tale by Patrice Barton and Karen Henry Clark
Star of the Week: A Story of Love, Adoption and Brownies with Sprinkles by Darlene Friedman
My New Family: A First Look at Adoption by Pat Thomas
My Adopted Child, There’s No One Like You by Kevin Leman
I Don’t Have Your Eyes by Carrie A. Kitze
Maybe Days: A Book for Children in Foster Care by Jennifer Wilgocki
All About Adoption: How to Deal With Questions From Your Past by Anne Lanchon
Lucy’s Family Tree by Karen Halvorsen Schreck
Three Names of Me by Mary Cummings
How it Feels to be Adopted by Jill Krementz
Forever Fingerprints: An Amazing Discovery for Adopted Children by Sherrie Eldgridge
Families Change: A Book for Children Experiencing Termination of Parental Rights by Julie Nelson
Kinship With All Life by J. Allen Boone
All About Adoption: How to Deal With Questions From Your Past by Anne Lanchon
How it Feels to be Adopted by Jill Krementz
Returnable Girl by Pamela Lowell
Adopted: The Ultimate Teen Guide by Suzanne Slade
Face in the Mirror: Teenagers and Adoption by Marion Crook
Adopted Teens Only: A Survival Guide to Adolescence by Danea Gorbett
The Heart Knows Something Different: Teenage Voices from the Foster Care System by Al Desetta
Heaven by Angela Johnson
A Brief Chapter in my Impossible Life by Dana Reinhardt
Picture This by Norma McClintock
Returnable Girl by Pamela Lowell
The Decoding of Lana Morris by Laura McNeal
The Yellow Sock: An Adoption Story by Angela Elwell Hunt
Born in Our Hearts: Stories of Adoption by Filis Casey
Kinship and Family: An Anthropological Reader by David Parkin and Linda Stone
